Shepherdsville 2008

Folks once again it’s time for the Olympics. First of all I don’t think it’s a good idea that McDonalds is one of our biggest sponsors. That’s like Paris Hilton promoting virginity. The gold medal stand is not built out of Big Macs.

I’m sure if you’ve watched these games you’ll notice the favoritism shown to the host country, believe it or not that’s a good thing since that’s always the way it is and the US hosts the games more than any other country. But what if the Olympic committee got together and said let’s set the sight for the 2008 games in Shepherdsville. Now if you’ve been paying attention you remember that there is only one Shepherdsville, and it’s in Kentucky. Now I’m basically from Shepherdsville and if I want to make fun of it I can and will.

So the Mayor and the City Council get together and come up with a plan. First thang we gotta do is cancel all dat swimming stuff cause the pool ain’t bigga enuff. So sorry Michael Phelps, you won’t be needed here. They figure they can still do most of the diving stuff down at Wilson Creek by attaching a diving board to the bridge, if we get good rain in the Sprang.

Now canceling the swimming events is going to leave a big hole in the competition. So ladies and gentleman, here is the Top Ten Substitutive Olympic games if they’re held in Shepherdsville.

10. Tobaccor spitting contest

9. Fat man sweating competition

8. Loudest car stereo contest

7. Demolition Derby

6. Greased Pig Catching

5. Mud Bog

4. Tractor Pull

3. Corn on the Cob eating contest

2. Burping the alphabet

1. How many people can you fit in the back of a pickup truck. This will definitely be won by a group of Mexicans. The only problem is we won’t know what country they represent.

GO USA