Growing up in Shepherdsville gives person a whole new set of rules to live by. Before I go into these I would like to start by writing my disclaimer.
Disclaimer: I, Ralph Hall, spent my farmidable, I mean formidable years growing up in Shepherdsville. Doing so gives me the right to poke fun or josh with, but never say, I got your goat. You could be shot at for that. So I am immune from any punishment. Living in Shepherdsville for darn near 20 years has given me the right to do this. It also permits me to say, darn near, about anything close to actuality.
We moved to Shepherdsville in 1975 and I was 8 years old then. One thing I noticed right away was there was a lot more grass to cut there, darn near an acre. That didn't sit well with me. There was also not as many people. As a matter of fact, stray dogs outnumbered people in Shepherdsville 2-1 in 1977. I had 2 friends and they were both older, plus a brother. So there were 4 boys in the neighborhood and choosing up teams did not take long.
Rule # 1: is everybody has to have a pet. Now I don't mean each family, I mean everybody in the family has their own pet. Shepherdsville authorities prefer you have different types of pets and that there is a 1 to 1 ratio of outside to inside pets at each house. From 1975-86, these are the names of my pets. Please remember this is not an exhaustive list, just then ones I can remember. Buttons, Brutis, Buttons (part 2), Fritz, Daffy, Mctabish, Porky, Gizmo, Gertie. There was also a stray we named Nipper. I won't say which one, but one of my parents and me loaded that mutt up in a Vega station wagon and dropped him off in a different neighborhood. Now I guess that doesn't sound like a whole lot, but those were just the dogs. We also had cats, too many to name or remember, rabbits, fish, hamsters, guinea pigs, gerbils, turtles, crawfish, chickens and ducks. Brutis loved the ducks, as a matter of fact he thought they were delicious.
Rule #2: You can actually own a sh*tload of something. I remember in the third grade at Show and Tell. That was mostly Tell, more than Show for me. After I brought the crawfish and leaches(oh yeah I had leaches as pets too) to show and tell in a shoe box it basically became a special rule for me and the other kids labeled as semi-disturbed to just tell stories at Show and Tell. When it was my turn I said my dad bought a riding mower this weekend. Mrs. Armstrong said Ralph you all must have a sh*tload of riding mowers by now. Growing up I thought it was normal to have 4 or 5 of everything.
Rule #3: Eight grade is mandatory. They didn't care what the heck happened to you after that, but if you didn't pass Music and PE in 8th grade, you didn't pass 8th grade.
Rule #4: Christmas shopping can all be done at flea markets and yardsales (also yardsale is 1 word if you are from Shepherdsville). Now I'm not saying my parents did this, we got a sh*tload of new stuff every year. But I remember being at the flea market with my grandpa and hearing other people saying let's get that and give it to so and so for Christmas.
Rule #5: Everyone must hunt deer. I tried this 1 year 3 times. It was not for me, I got cold and went back home in time for my mom to fix me breakfast. But everyone has to do this at least 1 time.
Rule #6: Everyone must also have a yardsale 2 times per year. You were also required to visit your neighbors yardsale and mull over the sh*tload of junk they dragged into their front yard.
Rule #7: Garbage pickup is optional. Not that we did because we did not, but you could pile all your trash up and take it to the dump for $5 a truckload once or twice a year.
Rule #8: Bringing a hand gun to a Little League game was ok. When I was 9 my coach brought a pistol to a game at Nichols Elementary just in case things got out of hand.
The good thing about Shepherdsville was there were only 8 rules. I guess they thought that was darn near enough and if they had a sh*tload of them you wouldn't follow the rules.
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